


i know where to lay

by paperlighthouse



Series: spotify shuffle @ 3am (song fic collection) [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Metaphors, Poetic, Sad, Songfic, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 12:57:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21302453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperlighthouse/pseuds/paperlighthouse
Summary: Hands that are small enough to feel like another’s. Mouth that’s soft enough to pretend it takes like saltwater. Sand dollar masks that mist pours through. The curves of Minho’s body are too soft to feel like sea cliffs, but he can pretend. Close his eyes, pretend the telescope that’s peering down at him isn’t the barrel of a gun.inspired by halsey's "eyes closed"
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Kim Seungmin, Kim Seungmin/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Series: spotify shuffle @ 3am (song fic collection) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1536622
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	i know where to lay

**Author's Note:**

> if you noticed this fic is the beginning a series where i'll be adding song fics to! i've got a google doc with a couple of other ideas ready to go and im excited to try and write more one shots. well anyways this fic is my interpretation of halsey's "eyes closed". i realllllly encourage listening to the song on repeat while reading cause it creates a really cool atmosphere. enjoy!
> 
> [ the song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXmVvAgzgVI) that inspired this whole fic. i loved rose's stripped version over halsey's so i listened to that cover instead of the original. 
> 
> [ my beta daisy's twitter](https://twitter.com/squishiesungie) and[ her ao3 ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/singsungie) if you want more poetic fics

_I, I know where to lay_  
_I know what to say_  
_It's all the same_

_And I, I know how to play_  
_I know this game_  
_It's all the same_

Minho wakes to moonlight on his pillow and his lover strewn across the pale mattress. Chan’s back is milky, condemning when his eyelids flutter and open. The moonlight is pure, harsh, reveals the truth when Minho didn’t ask, when he didn’t want it to. The moon doesn’t care. 

The crisp of night feels like drowned witches are pulling at the shackles clasped to his ankles. Pulling him to his death, but he can’t help but follow it. Left then right, gentle taps across the burning cold floor.

He withdraws slowly, like he’s creeping out from his home in the dead of night. Though Chan’s never been home. He knows that.

Frigid, he walks. The moon watches carefully, duly. His keys slice through the moon. The street is white, softly glowing. His car rumbles with the twist of his key.

The room is silent; the moon says nothing. Chan cries, but no one hears him. If the moon cried, would anyone hear it?

_He’ll never stay_  
_They never do_

_He_ is the sun. With tealights burning softly in the windows, with golden keys under beige doormats. The moon shys away from the heat.

The walls are painted creme, like milk. Seungmin’s room is the last on the left.

A nightlight twinkles off the mirrors from the attached bathroom. The lights are on, waiting. A piece of caramelized autumn frozen in time, holding its breath.

He’s quiet. They both are till they’re close. And his heart beats, liquid diamond draining from his veins, filling with gold. The words are like honey, so sweet, saccharine. He wouldn't stop eating it, can’t.

_“Missed you.”_ He is sweet, covering his lies in honey.

Minho presses a kiss to the corner of his lips, purrs at the breath he tugs from his lungs. Pushes, pulls, tugs at his clothes. The bedside lamp is dimmed, amber cinnamon light. Siphon comfort from his ribs, then lower.

Seungmin’s sheets are silkier, smoother. Higher quality. Higher responsibility. Risky.

_“Minho, please.”_ Seungmin _glows_ under him. He bites the apples of his cheeks, holds his wrists. Down, he follows the taste of honey. Up, he follows the tang of sugar. 

_But you've been replaced_  
_I'm face to face with someone new, with someone new_

Minho kisses him like butterflies, fragile. Like he’s cupping his life in his hands and urges him to pour it down his throat. 

Like he’s trying to remember something. Like he’s trying to push out the ladybugs multiplying on the inside of his lungs.

_Now if I keep my eyes closed_  
_He feels just like you_

Fragments of lives that feel like ribbon slips past his hands, receding with the tide. A brown sugar boy. Water like thunder, resounding, crashing like cymbals.

_“More.”_ His voice doesn’t sound like his own: ragged, desperate. Minho complies. Seungmin chases white. Chases ocean foam. Tries to catch receding memories, feelings, a lover. The ocean pulls back, farther, _farther. “Faster.”_

Minho feels like a glass on cold water splashed across his face. Cold, but nothing like an ocean. And he wants _ice_. 

_And if I keep my eyes closed_  
_He feels just like you_

But if you’ve never seen the ocean, and someone told you it was. Told you to close your eyes, and you felt butterflies whispering in your stomach, and heard the roar of shells cupping your ears, wouldn’t you believe it was the ocean?

_I would've gave it all for you, been there for you_  
_So tell me where I went wrong_

Hands that are small enough to feel like another’s. Mouth that’s soft enough to pretend it takes like saltwater. Sand dollar masks that mist pours through. The curves of Minho’s body are too soft to feel like sea cliffs, but he can pretend. Close his eyes, pretend the telescope that’s peering down at him isn’t the barrel of a gun.

_Would've gave it all for you, and cared for you_  
_(My lover, my liar)_

Minho pants soft, wet, hot breaths against his neck. Hums brokenly, bites down hard on his collar bone. It hurts.

_Would've traded all for you, been there for you_  
_So tell me how to move on_  
_Would've traded all for you, been there for you_  
_(My lover)_

If Jisung was the sea, the tide, then Minho was like a forest. Both unimaginably breathtaking, swaying, flowing. Seungmin thinks that if you stood on the sand, and if you stood in the dirt, the sway of trees leaning in the wind would sound just like the roll of the ocean.

Windswept, Minho pulls away. Rolls against his sheets to throw his legs over the side of the bed. Seungmin reaches (chases), tucks a wayward hair back against his head. Minho’s smile is like the moon against the waves; rippling.

_And he don't realize I'm thinkin' about you_  
_It's nothing new, it's nothing new_

He leaves, the backs of his shoes crushed as he shuffles through the hall. The door shuts with a soft huff, the welcome mat floppily rolls as it covers the bronze key.

Seungmin rolls over, squeezes his eyes shut, tries to keep the sound of the ocean in his ears, pretend that he can’t feel the dry dirt between his toes.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this poem-ish angst >:) if you wanna keep up with what i'm writing next (hint! there may be a sequel shhh) you can follow me [ my twitter](https://twitter.com/lunagoogie)
> 
> if you really liked this fic you can like/retweet [ this tweet](https://twitter.com/milkmurk/status/1191495599209598976) which gives some visuals, a short summary, and a link for this fic. or you can add it your fic rec list on twt if you have one :)
> 
> leave a comment for the starving fic writer! its really cool to see what people liked they sure do motivate me ;d have a nice dayy <3


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